Mid-day inspiration from Pursuit Of Happyness (by tictacj0)
A friend and I somehow got onto topic of how a lot of people have a fear of public speaking.
I am the perfect concoction for a nervous public speaker. I am actually naturally introverted. On top of that, I get anxious really easily under situations that require me to think on my feet.
My friend told me that his brother used to be very nervous as a public speaker. He wrote down why he was nervous on a piece of paper, crumpled it and threw it away. He has been a confident public speaker ever since.
I will be doing this everyday with
- An insecurity
- Something about myself that can be improved
- Something that made me very unhappy that day
Let’s be real - I truly believe that 99% of people are not actually interested in hearing about your problems, because they actually have lots to take care of in their own lives. One of my weaknesses is that I keep everything bottled up. I am usually the one listening to other people’s problems.
All this emotional strain can probably be remedied by this simple game of crumpled-paper basketball.
Write down an insecurity, crumple, and score. Oh yeah - remember to stay awesome.
My favourite people were trying really hard to convince me to go out with them a couple of weekends ago. Even though I had nothing due on Monday, I had to decline the multiple tempting invitations - if I didn’t keep on schedule with my workload, I would have felt suffocated by deadlines the week after.
One of the girls noticed something. “You never submit to peer pressure no matter what - that’s rare for someone in their early 20s. What’s your secret?”
I value an exciting lifestyle over all else. But, there’s a time and place for everything. My secret is not a secret at all - it’s called common sense. I keep my priorities straight, and I rationalize the consequences before making a decision about anything big or small.
What people need to do is to find the unique balance that makes them feel the happiest. A firm grasp on your self-awareness reminds you of your values, and gives you foresight of your unique consequential emotional reward/ penalty from your actions.
This is applicable to any situation from harmless trade-offs to negative peer pressure.
Here’s a play-by-play of what would have happened had I said yes.
- Rewards: Fun with friends
- Consequence 1: Feel kind of bad for not doing work the entire night
- Consequence 2: Too hung over to be 100% productive the next day
- Consequence 3: Unnecessarily stressed and under-performing the next week - I have the worst anxiety in the world, so this would happen with 100% likelihood
- Consequence 4: Wallet = sad face
I know my strengths and weaknesses well enough to do what would make me the happiest in the end. I accept that it’s my own responsibility to look out for myself.
I’ll leave you with Kohlberg’s Levels of Morality to think about on your own. I love this model, because I see it being applicable to any decision-making that doesn’t necessarily involve morality. Where do you stand the majority of the time?
Take time to understand yourself and your priorities, and stand by them.
#14 Develop a thick skin.
Many situations will arise when a thick skin is necessary to maintain sanity. You are going to work on something for three days straight with no sleep just to turn it in and get comments from your teacher like you didn’t even try. There will be times where you feel everyone in your class has something amazing except you. You will find your friends annoying when they say they can’t believe how hard their ENC1101 class is and that they can’t believe they spent “3 HOURS at the library today”. There are many, many other things that will try to get under your skin while you are in school, but you will notice that the more adversity you overcome, the stronger you will become as a person. When its all said and done, it will be difficult for other activities to match the sense of accomplishment you’ll get when you’re finished.
