A friend and I somehow got onto topic of how a lot of people have a fear of public speaking.
I am the perfect concoction for a nervous public speaker. I am actually naturally introverted. On top of that, I get anxious really easily under situations that require me to think on my feet.
My friend told me that his brother used to be very nervous as a public speaker. He wrote down why he was nervous on a piece of paper, crumpled it and threw it away. He has been a confident public speaker ever since.
I will be doing this everyday with
Let’s be real - I truly believe that 99% of people are not actually interested in hearing about your problems, because they actually have lots to take care of in their own lives. One of my weaknesses is that I keep everything bottled up. I am usually the one listening to other people’s problems.
All this emotional strain can probably be remedied by this simple game of crumpled-paper basketball.
Write down an insecurity, crumple, and score. Oh yeah - remember to stay awesome.
My favourite people were trying really hard to convince me to go out with them a couple of weekends ago. Even though I had nothing due on Monday, I had to decline the multiple tempting invitations - if I didn’t keep on schedule with my workload, I would have felt suffocated by deadlines the week after.
One of the girls noticed something. “You never submit to peer pressure no matter what - that’s rare for someone in their early 20s. What’s your secret?”
I value an exciting lifestyle over all else. But, there’s a time and place for everything. My secret is not a secret at all - it’s called common sense. I keep my priorities straight, and I rationalize the consequences before making a decision about anything big or small.
What people need to do is to find the unique balance that makes them feel the happiest. A firm grasp on your self-awareness reminds you of your values, and gives you foresight of your unique consequential emotional reward/ penalty from your actions.
This is applicable to any situation from harmless trade-offs to negative peer pressure.
Here’s a play-by-play of what would have happened had I said yes.
I know my strengths and weaknesses well enough to do what would make me the happiest in the end. I accept that it’s my own responsibility to look out for myself.
I’ll leave you with Kohlberg’s Levels of Morality to think about on your own. I love this model, because I see it being applicable to any decision-making that doesn’t necessarily involve morality. Where do you stand the majority of the time?
Take time to understand yourself and your priorities, and stand by them.